Theresa: Hey everybody. Thanks for joining us today. Dan and I like to come up with our podcast topics based on our own conversations. And just last week we were talking about what keeps any of us from taking that next step toward what we want? And pretty much at the same time we agreed that it really comes down to. We each get in our own way. So we decided to come up with a podcast today that really talks about that. How do we get in our own way ?
Dan:Have you ever felt like you're just really stuck in a rutt? Maybe you're unable to reach your goals no matter how hard you try? It can be frustrating. When you're constantly hitting that brick wall and you're just not able to break through. What if I told you that the one thing that's holding you back from achieving everything you want in life, it's not a lack of talent. It's not a lack of resources. It's not bad luck. It's not bad timing. The one thing that's stopping you from having everything that you want is you, and I'll bet at some point that you doubt yourself in your abilities. Am I right? Theresa: Today we're gonna talk about getting out of your own way and stepping into your greatness. In our trainings, we teach people how to overcome these three obstacles that we all experience at some point in our lives. Everything that holds us back falls into one of these three categories. I bet I have your attention. Now. These three areas are what drew me into coaching in the first place. We all buy into limitations in the form of limiting beliefs and limiting decisions. We all have unresolved negative emotions swimming around in our heads, emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, hurt, and guilt, and we all struggle with internal conflicts. This is when we say, feel and believe that a part of us wants to do one thing, but another part of us wants to do another. For example, a part of you may wanna stay in your current job for any number of reasons, and a part of you has a desire to do something different, maybe something more. Those are the big things that hold people back from living the lives they dream about. Limitations, unresourceful emotions and internal conflicts. Dan and I use a set of N L P techniques when we work with clients, and we teach other coaches how to help themselves and others to eliminate these obstacles from their lives. On today's podcast, we're going to focus on five ways you may be in your own way and give you some strategy so you can get out of your own way and step into your greatness. So if you're taking notes, we're gonna talk about these five things, making things more difficult than they need to be. Comparing yourself to others. Self-doubt, the fear of making mistakes and losing sight of progress. Dan.
Dan: Alright, I'm ready to dive in. So get out of your own way. What does that even mean, being in your own way? Here's the thing, like you said, Theresa, most times there are those three obstacles that hold people back. . Then we see that people get in their own way of success. Being in your own way means you are the one that's putting the roadblocks out to your success. You're the one that's blocking your goals, you're blocking your own dreams. . The truth is, no matter who we are, we all do this. Even the most successful people on the planet, we all have our own fears, doubts, and insecurities. These are things that hold us back from reaching our full potential. Here's the great thing about it, though. You have the power to get out of your own way. You have the power to overcome those obstacles. And I'll tell you, it's easy to get sidetracked by self-doubt, by sabotaging thoughts, here's the thing it's important to recognize when you're holding yourself back. The first step in making empowering change is to cast light into the darkness, right? When you bring awareness to what's going on, you're conscious of it, and that means you can begin to make change and make a shift. You deserve to achieve all of your goals, all your dreams, everything that you want, but you have to believe in yourself first. Remember, the only thing standing between you and everything you want is you. So take a deep breath, trust in your abilities, and let's look at some ways that you may be getting in your own way.
Theresa: The first way people get in their own way is by making things more difficult than they need to be. When we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and we try to do too much or too many things at once, we can so easily become overwhelmed and we just start making things harder than they need to be. For me, this used to lead to procrastination, self-doubt, and ultimately failure in some projects. The good news is that there are ways to get out of your own way and make things easier for yourself. So how do we do that? Well, the answer is, Easily and effortlessly once you are aware of the problem and have the right tools to guide you,
Dan: Right! So you have to have a game plan, some strategies. Now you're gonna wanna take some notes today, but we know that you might be driving or doing something where you're not able to sit and take notes and write things down. What we want you to know is on the Destiny Rising website, under podcast, there's always a transcript available. That includes this episode too, and for this episode, we've prepared a document for you with some bullet points. So you don't need to worry about taking notes right at this moment right now, but I would say you can always go back, listen to this podcast again, and then, , take some notes if you would like. Now when you're making things harder than , need to be, we're gonna give you a few steps from making things easier. So here's the first thing. Set realistic expectations. Be honest with yourself about what you can realistically accomplish for the day, for the week, for the month. Setting unrealistic expectations only leads to disappointment and frustration, and it might cause you to give up altogether. The second thing is to simplify your goals. Instead of trying to accomplish everything at once, break those goals down into smaller, more manageable tasks. This is something that's gonna help you stay focused. And it's going to help you make progress without that feeling of overwhelm and prioritize your tasks. Make a list of everything you need to do, and then prioritize each task based on how important it's, this is going to help you focus on the most critical task first, and it's going to prevent you from wasting time on the things that aren't important. We're going to have a training coming out soon on task management. But the key is to prioritize your tasks and next practice. Self-compassion. I believe people really overlook this part in life. It's so important to be kind to yourself and recognize that perfectionism is not necessary for success. Just allow yourself to make some mistakes and learn from them. And remember. Progress is more important than perfectionism. And then I would say take breaks. Sometimes taking a step back and taking a break can help you regain your focus. It can help you regain your energy. Don't be afraid to take time off to recharge your batteries, even just walk away for a few minutes. Oh,
Theresa: So true. I have to remind you sometimes to step away from that computer. 'cause you sit there all day, taking breaks is so important. I love that one.
Dan: You're right. And there are a lot of times when I take that advice and just clearing my mind, it allows me to have some inspiration. Allows that inspiration to flow. Yeah. Or sometimes the answers just pop into my head when I, when I do that. Mm,
Theresa: I love it. The second way people get in their own way is by comparing themselves to others. Everyone does this at some point, and especially women. We are the worst. We compare ourselves to others way too often, and this is just a perfect example of how we get in our own way that keeps us from reaching our full potential. It's so easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to your friends, your family members, or even strangers, and that's so easy to do on social media these days.
Dan: Exactly. It's important to know where you want to be in terms of success, but it can be a huge setback to your mental and emotional wellbeing if you're comparing yourself to others. Remember, everyone has their own journey, and just because somebody else seems to be ahead of where you are, that doesn't mean that you're not making progress. Every one of us has our own different strengths, weaknesses, we have our own experiences in life that make us who we are. And comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges. It's pointless and it's not productive. And comparing yourself to others, it only leads to feelings of inadequacy. It can actually rob you of the joy of your success. Instead of focusing on what other people are doing, focus on your own journey. I remember when we first opened our wine bar, I used to think, man, why are those other restaurants, they're so busy already and they're already filling up? The ones that were just up the road from us and we weren't busy yet, then people would start flowing in and I'd spend all that time wasting energy worrying about nothing. I know a lot of people, they look at other people that are in their profession, whether it's real estate insurance, coaching, it doesn't really matter what it is, but they look at other people and they say, man, they're so far ahead of me, or I should be at that level now. Remember, everybody has their own struggles and challenges and comparing yourself to others, it only adds that unnecessary pressure, especially because you don't know what other people's struggles are and when the camera's off, you don't know what their challenges and their obstacles are. Social media only shows what people want you to see. Focus on your own journey. Just keep pushing forward and don't let anybody else's success dim your own light.
Theresa: Oh, that's so true. We've got so many stories. For another podcast. So many stories about owning a business. Oh, well this brings us to the next step of how to get out of your own way, and that is to believe in yourself always. Sometimes that's easier said than done, but this is so important because when we doubt ourselves, the only one we're hurting is ourselves. How can we achieve our goals if we don't even think we can? If I don't believe in myself, I'm far less likely to take risks and put in the effort required to achieve my dreams. Talk about an internal conflict. It's easy to get caught up in self-doubt and negative self-talk, but when you remind yourself that you are capable of amazing things. It's important to shift your mindset and start believing in yourself. When you trust yourself and your abilities, you will start living your best life. You have the power to get out of your own way and start believing in yourself. When you have faith in yourself, you will be unstoppable. Believing in yourself is easier than you might think. If you're not sure how to do that, just try one of these strategies that you might not usually think about. For example, you could spend some time focusing on your strengths instead of dwelling on your shortcomings. Focus on the things that you are proud of, the things that you consider your strengths. Make a list of all the things you're good at and all the things that make you unique. Celebrate your strengths and find ways to use them to your advantage. Whether it's a talent for writing, speaking problem solving, use what you're good at to set yourself apart from the crowd. By focusing on your strengths, you can also find a sense of purpose and direction. You'll be able to identify what you wanna do in your life and what you want to achieve. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Instead, prove to yourself how your strengths can help you succeed. Uh, another strategy you could set some time aside to practice self-care and do the things that bring you joy. Taking care of yourself is essential to building self-confidence, making time for activities that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, whether it's exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. For me, it's me time. I know that every week I have to set some time aside for myself without any TV, without any social media, without any other people around just to recharge. And that could be 15 minutes, but that 15 minutes makes such a difference in my week. Remember to treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and don't be too hard on yourself when things don't go as planned. Another strategy you might wanna try is work towards setting achievable goals. This is a great way to build confidence and increase belief in yourself. Start with small goals that you know you can accomplish. Maybe it's, I'm going to make my bed every day. You might not like that, but you know you can accomplish it. Start with those small goals and gradually work your way up to bigger goals. Make sure to celebrate your successes along the way and expect an occasional failure, knowing that failures are the tuition you pay for future successes. Lastly, another thing you might wanna try is to surround yourself intentionally with positivity, positive people and influences. Can boost your confidence and your belief in yourself. So seek out those friends, family members or mentors who will support and encourage you, and make sure to avoid people who bring you down or make you doubt yourself. So read books, listen to podcasts like this one, the Destiny Rising Podcast. Or watch videos that are uplifting and motivational, fill your social media feeds with accounts that inspire and motivate you. When you immerse yourself with positivity, you'll find that you're better equipped to deal with the challenges that life throws your way. You'll start to see opportunities where before you saw obstacles, and you'll begin to believe that you're capable of achieving your dreams. Remember, the energy you surround yourself with is contagious, so make sure it's a positive energy that you're spreading. By surrounding yourself with positivity, you're taking a powerful step toward believing in yourself and creating a life that you love. It's important to remember the only limit to what you can achieve is the limit you place on yourself. So I dare you. Believe in yourself always,
Dan: Man,. Those are some really good tips and strategies, so I love that. I love that. First of all, there are so many times when you hear something and people tell you, let's go ahead and make a change in an area. But I think true coaching is when you not only tell people you need to make a change in an area, but they give you some strategies, some tips, some resources for being able to make those changes. And Theresa, those are really, really good ones. And the fourth strategy is one, that's a really important one, and it's learning from your mistakes. We have a saying in N L P that says, there's no failure, only feedback. It's really easy to beat ourselves up when things don't go like we planned. But when we dwell on our failures, it doesn't get us anywhere. Instead, take a moment and reflect on what went differently than you planned and what the learning is that you can take away, so that way you can get better results next time. Reframe those setbacks as opportunities and that'll allow you to refocus and re-strategize. It's not about being perfect, but what it is about is using each setback as an opportunity for growth. And I love what you said , the part about the tuition. What, what's that?
Theresa: Failure is the tuition you pay for future successes.
Dan: I love that. That is so great. And if you think of failure as feedback, it's really a powerful tool that's gonna help you to shift your perspective and see your setbacks as actual opportunities to learn and to grow. And the truth is, every successful person has failed at some point. The difference between those who achieve their goals and those who don't is that successful people don't let their failures defeat them. They use them as stepping stones to success, just like you said. So the next time that you're feeling discouraged, remember that failure is not the end because there is no failure, there's only feedback. It's just a detour that can lead you to success. So use the lessons that are learned from your mistakes. And use those to improve your approach and get out of your own way to achieving greatness. If you stumble on your journey to success, don't let it stop you instead. Learn from it. Just keep moving forward.
Theresa: Speaking of moving forward, that leads us into our fifth and final step to get out of your own way, and that is the importance of staying focused on your progress. Dan talked about it a little bit in, , some of the earlier strategies, but it's easy to get caught up in the end goal and forget about the small steps you need to take to get there. The truth is, progress is what leads to success. Every little step you take towards your goal counts, and it's important to acknowledge and celebrate those steps so that you can keep your motivation up. Don't get discouraged if you don't see immediate results. Progress takes time. Have you ever put your mind to losing five pounds then hop on the scale immediately after you had that thought? It doesn't work like that, right? You have to stay focused and do what you need to do in order to get to your goal. Instead, what I want you to focus on is the small victories along the way. Did you go for a walk today? That's progress. Did you resist the urge to grab a donut that's progress? Celebrate these victories and use them as a reminder that you're on the right track, no matter how small they may seem. And remember that they are leading you closer and closer to your ultimate success. Remember, progress not perfection is the key to achieving everything you want. It's easy to get caught up in the destination, but the journey is just as important. Embrace the process, embrace the progress, and most importantly, embrace yourself.
Dan: Good stuff. I love it. So wrapping things up, make a decision to not hold yourself back. Get out of your own way. Step into your awesomeness. Take small steps, be persistent and have faith in yourself. Celebrate your uniqueness. There's no need to hold yourself back. It's time to shine and show the world what you're made of.
Theresa: Get out of your own way.
Dan: I love it. So thanks for joining us today. At the end of every podcast, we like to ask you to do two things. First of all, we ask you to go down if you haven't already, and like our podcast, so that you never miss an episode of Destiny Rising. And the other thing is, if you feel like some of this content is gonna help somebody that you know and love, make sure you share this podcast with them. Thank you, and we'll see you next time.