[00:00:00] Welcome to the Destiny Rising Podcast. We're your host, N L P Trainers, coaches and entrepreneurs. I'm Dan Singletary. And I'm Theresa Singletary. Whether working on yourself or working with clients, we cover it all Together. We will explore the past to success and help you step into your purpose and rise to your destiny.
[00:00:24] Alright, I'm very excited about today's podcast. This is going to be a topic that I think is going to help a lot of people, whether you're on your own personal development journey, or whether you are somebody who sees clients. In today's podcast, we're going to be talking about confidence versus competence. In today's society is really fast paced in a super competitive, the terms confidence and competence, they're often used interchangeably.
[00:00:55] I think it's very important that we all understand the difference between the two and how they can impact your success. Let me tell you a story about Jen. Jen had always been interested in helping people and she had a passion for personal development, so she heard about Success Coach training and she thought it was the perfect opportunity, something that was going to be able to help her turn her passion into a career.
[00:01:23] I. After putting in the work and the dedication to the course, Jen finally completed the program. Then she was officially a certified success coach. Even with her certification, Jen had something holding her back. She didn't feel confident enough to go out and work with clients. That would be the next step, right to go out, help people get clients, but she doubted her abilities.
[00:01:52] She was constantly feeling like she just needed more training. She had this illusion that more training was going to give her the confidence that she needed to work with clients. It wasn't really until she spoke with a mentor and he was able to help her realize that she was confusing confidence with confidence.
[00:02:14] Her mentor explained that confidence comes from experience. Jen already had the knowledge and skills to be a great coach. She'd learned those in her training. She decided she was going to take a step back and evaluate the situation, and she realized her mentor was right. She was laying her fear hold her back.
[00:02:38] She needed to believe in herself, and she had a trust in her abilities as a success coach. She needed to take a leap of faith, get out of that comfort zone and just start working with clients. See, the only way to gain confidence is to take action and really put yourself out there, and no matter what it is, whether it's seeing clients, whether it's going to the next level in your career, no matter what it is, taking action and getting out of that comfort zone is really what allows you to gain competence and confidence.
[00:03:14] Jen took her mentor's advice to heart. She took the plunge and she started working with clients. She went out there and just took action. She got out of her comfort zone and with each session she gained more and more confidence in her abilities. She saw firsthand that she was having a lot of positive impact and she was making change in people's lives.
[00:03:38] Every time she would have a session, she was. Learning something new. She was experiencing something different. She realized that the key to being a successful coach wasn't about having all the answers, but instead it was about asking the right questions, and it's about guiding her clients toward their own solutions.
[00:03:58] She learned that confidence comes with experience, and the only way to get that experience is by taking action generalized That. She did have the competence all along, and all she needed was the confidence to put herself out there. Maybe you can relate to Jim. Maybe you're not a success coach. Maybe you're on a journey that's a little bit different.
[00:04:22] Maybe you're a realtor, maybe you're a marketer. This is a slippery slope. A lot of people fall into. A lot of people fall into the shiny object syndrome, the illusion that more training alone is going to give the confidence. For success. People think that just that one more training is going to be what they need to succeed at work or in life.
[00:04:48] It's really important to acknowledge that while training can provide valuable knowledge and skills, it's not the only factor in building confidence. Confidence is something that comes from inside and it requires a shift in your mindset. Requires. Changing your behavior. See, this is a journey that involves taking risks, taking action, facing challenges, and learning from things that you perceive to be mistakes.
[00:05:21] A person can have all the training and knowledge in the world, but if they lack confidence, they may struggle to apply all of these skills effectively. Confidence is the key to unlocking your potential. It's the key to achieving success in any area of your life. So here's the great news. The truth is anybody can have confidence because being confident is a state.
[00:05:48] That's right. It's a state of being. It's not a destination. It's a mindset that can be cultivated, and you can do this through intention and effort. Confidence is. It's not just something that's for the lucky few or the people who are out there who are naturally gifted. Confidence is for anybody who's willing to believe in themselves.
[00:06:13] When you have confidence, you're radiating positivity, and you know what that means? You're going to attract success. You become more resilient in the face of challenges and when you have setbacks. You're able to communicate more effectively. You're able to build stronger relationships. You know what's most important though?
[00:06:36] You're able to live the life that you want and achieve your goals. See, confidence can be built. You can build it through positive self-talk. You can build it through taking risks. And one of the most important things is stepping out of your comfort zone. You can get confidence through. Having a physiology of confidence and using N L P techniques to anchor the state of confidence in your body to put yourself in a in a peak state.
[00:07:10] Some other ways that you can get confidence that really helps is using hypnosis. Check out some of our resources for confidence in the description and on our website. I'm excited to put some of these things out there that can really make a change for people and help 'em. Get past that thing that's holding them back.
[00:07:29] And one of the key ways to build confidence is just to start by believing in yourself and to believe in your abilities. Focus on your strengths and what you can do. Well stop focusing on dwelling on your weaknesses or your failures. If you're believing in success and you're seeing yourself as being successful, it's going to stop the worry, it's going to stop the anxiety.
[00:07:55] Just always see yourself being successful. One of the biggest things that you can do to build confidence is to get out there and take risks, right? To get outside of the comfort zone and take some risks. That's what Jen did. And this can really be scary at first, but it's crucial to growing as a person and achieving your results.
[00:08:19] Start small. Work your way up. Try something new. Try something challenging, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. This is a good thing to do, is to always put yourself outside of the comfort zone and to always be doing something different that challenges you, not just in. You're business as a practitioner or as a coach, or not just in your work, but in all areas of your life, just to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
[00:08:48] So it's not about being perfect or never making mistakes. It's about believing in yourself and it's about believing in your abilities. With every success that you have, you're going to feel confident and you're going to feel very capable. I want you to know that competence. Is so important 'cause you can get competence through education, through training, and you can get competence through experience.
[00:09:15] But ultimately anybody can have confidence because confidence is just a state of mind. Let's look at some ways that you can really build confidence. First of all, believing in yourself and the power of your potential. When it comes to confidence and competence, your beliefs are the deciding factor in who you are.
[00:09:41] They help to create your identity. Your self-belief sets the stage for all of your future endeavors. Start off by believing in yourself and your awesome potential. Trust me, you've got what it takes to make those dreams of yours come true. Keep your mind positive and your confidence is going to soar. It's going to lead to increased competence in all areas.
[00:10:08] Remember, if you want to change your life, it all starts with beliefs. Believe in yourself. Work hard, keep a good attitude, and watch yourself go from strength to strength after you've started to really approach that area, right? Believing in yourself. The power of your potential working on those beliefs in yourself.
[00:10:31] One of the other things is to remember that you don't need to be perfect to be confident. And I know that it's tempting to believe that you have to have everything together to radiate confidence. All of your ducks in a row, everything perfect. But the truth is that is just not the case. You don't have to be flawless, and you don't have to be perfect.
[00:10:55] To feel that feeling of being self-assured. The real deal come from embracing your weaknesses and challenges and being authentic with that, and still having the courage to move forward. And, hey, believe me, I totally get it. We all fall into this trap of striving for perfection. I fall into that sometimes too, but let's be real.
[00:11:21] It's just not possible. Instead of chasing some goal that's unattainable, why don't we focus on building up our skills and the knowledge that we need in the areas that really matter to us? Practice is what makes perfect. Just keep at it, learn from the mistakes along the way. Another area is viewing mistakes as learning opportunities.
[00:11:45] Like I said, there's no failure. There's only feedback. And when it comes to building confidence, There's one important thing to keep in mind. Mistakes are a good thing. We all mess up sometimes and it's totally normal to feel a little bit down when things don't go exactly like we planned. But here's the thing, mistakes are actually opportunities to learn and grow.
[00:12:13] Some of your best growth comes out of making mistakes. I love. One of the presuppositions of N L P is the one that I mentioned earlier that says there's no failure, only feedback. Instead of getting down on yourself, try to think about what you can take away from that experience. What didn't work? What could you do differently next time?
[00:12:38] Then you take that and you apply it, and the more you practice, the better you get. Don't be afraid to just keep trying. Really, mistakes are. Such a good thing. Now let's look at history. Here's just one example from history. A failure that turned out good and there are so many of 'em. This is just one. In the early 19 hundreds, there was a man named Roy Plunkett.
[00:13:06] He was working on developing a new type of refrigerant gas. One day he accidentally left a cylinder gas open and the whole thing evaporated. He could have just given up. He could have scratched the whole thing. Instead of giving up, he decided to investigate what happened, and he discovered that a new substance had formed as a result of the gas reacting with the inside of the cylinder.
[00:13:36] Anybody have any idea what this substance was? It was Teflon. So Teflon is now used in countless ways. You've seen it on non-stick cookware. You've seen it on medical implants. It's even used as a coating for spacecrafts. Come on. I mean, Teflon is everywhere, and if it weren't for his mistake, we wouldn't have Teflon today.
[00:14:01] Remember, nobody's perfect confidence comes from believing in yourself. It comes from your ability to keep improving and to keep learning. Another thing is to challenge yourself to take risks and step out of that comfort zone. Unlocking your inner confidence requires a little bit of being daring, and it requires a whole lot of guts.
[00:14:26] What's the key to this is pushing past that comfort zone and taking on challenges that probably seem a little bit scary, right? At first. They may seem a little bit frightening, a little bit scary. I. But then as we embrace the discomfort and face the fears head on, that's what allows each new experience that you're building to give you more confidence and more confidence, and become more capable of handling anything life through your way.
[00:15:00] It's about embracing the unknown and daring to take risks and stepping up to the challenges. See, every step that you take towards discomfort and conquering your fears, you're really carving out this half. It's like you have a machete and you're chopping down the limbs that are in the path and creating a path to greatness.
[00:15:28] You're becoming better at handling any situation that comes your way. Don't be afraid to just break free from the shackles of familiarity. Get out there, take some risks, be uncomfortable. Get out of the comfort zone. Always remember it's really okay for you to fail or make mistakes because it's in those moments, the moments of perceived failure.
[00:15:51] The moment where you feel like you've really made a mistake, that's where you're going to learn and you're going to grow the most with each and every risk you take. You're building the foundation of true confidence. It's a foundation that's going to help you to achieve your goals in every single aspect of your life.
[00:16:10] That brings us to celebrating your successes. That is something that a lot of people overlook, and not only just celebrating your successes, but celebrating the big ones and the small ones. Did you know that celebrating your wins, no matter how small they may, It can do wonders for your confidence and for your competence too.
[00:16:35] Taking the time to acknowledge your accomplishments can have a positive impact on your mental health, a positive impact on your mindset, so really celebrate those things. Reward yourself. Remember, building competence takes time and effort and success doesn't always happen overnight. Embracing every little victory along the way and enjoying that journey.
[00:16:59] And along that journey, just feeling proud of yourself for the progress you made. It's going to do wonders for your mindset. This boost in self-confidence can motivate you to keep pushing forward towards your goals. What are some ways that you could experience this? It could be acing a test, landing a job.
[00:17:22] Sometimes it could be just getting through a rough day. Sometimes we just need to get through the day. So celebrate your success and keep cultivating this positive growth-oriented outlook. Your journey to competence may be a marathon, not a sprint. Each step that you're taking is worth celebrating along the way.
[00:17:47] That's about all the time that we have for this podcast, and I think this is just super important. The balance between confidence and competence. You see both of these traits, they're crucial. They are so critical, but it's really key to strike a balance between those two. If you're too confident without the skills to back it up, you might end up making mistakes or overestimating yourself.
[00:18:16] And on the other hand, if you're super competent but you lack confidence, you might miss out on all these opportunities or. Things that come up and you just don't see the opportunity, or you might doubt yourself unnecessarily and not take an opportunity. That's why think is so important to work hard, to learn continuously, and to always look for feedback from others.
[00:18:41] That way you can build confidence and competence while getting out of your comfort zone, while taking risks. When you find the right balance, you're going to be set up for success. You start to really feel that fulfillment in both your personal and your professional life. Thanks for joining me on today's podcast.
[00:19:02] As you know, we always like to ask you to do two things. First, if you haven't already, please go ahead and hit that subscribe button so you don't ever miss a Destiny Rising Podcast. In second, send this podcast to somebody that it can be helpful for. Thank you so much. Until next time. Live your best.