People Don't Need To Be Fixed
[00:00:24] Hello and welcome to today's podcast. I'm Dan Singletary. I'm going to be your solo host for today. And today we're gonna be discussing an important topic that affects us all. It's the idea that people don't need to be fixed cause they're not broken. Too often we see individuals who are struggling with challenges or facing some difficult circumstances in their life, and the thought in their mind is that somebody needs to fix them.
[00:00:53] But the truth is people aren't broken so they don't need to be fixed. Theresa and I were [00:01:00] talking, and just the other day she had a client that she was seeing. This is the week following her discovery call with her, and as soon as her client sits down, she looks at Theresa and she says, okay, go ahead and fix me.
[00:01:15] We hear this a lot. We even have friends who know what we do, and they casually say, well, I know I need to see you, but there's no use because you can't fix me. It is not uncommon for people to feel like something is wrong with them, like they need to be fixed in some way. Sometimes the people struggle to find happiness or they feel like they're not living up to their potential, and when clients come to see us, it's always because of one of three things.
[00:01:46] They're either not being, doing or having what they want in life. Or it could be that they want to stop being. Doing or having something in life. But the truth is [00:02:00] people don't need to be fixed because they're not broken. Society places, what you could call a premium on perfection and productivity. Because of that, it can be easy to lose sight of the fact that everybody has their own inherent value and worth, and regardless of what perceived shortcomings that they think they have.
[00:02:25] The use of techniques like neurolinguistic programming in LP or coaching shouldn't be aimed at fixing a person, but instead it should be aimed at helping them to thrive and to become their best selves. It's pretty common that clients come to see us and they have this idea that they need to be fixed, but we see a lot of people in our own industry of N L P and coaching.
[00:02:53] These coaches, they think that they themselves need to be fixed too. It's really hard to
[00:03:00] work with a client on something if you're struggling with it yourself. So if deep down you feel like you need to be fixed, this is gonna be a great podcast for you. If you have these clients that are coming to see you and they feel like they need to be fixed, this is gonna be a great podcast for you too.
[00:03:18] So let's look at why people don't need. Fixing. There are psychological and societal factors that contribute to this belief that people need to be fixed, but it's important to recognize and celebrate our unique strengths and abilities instead of focusing only on perceived weaknesses that we have. You see this phrase out there that says, people are enough or you are enough.
[00:03:47] That's the saying that kind of buzzes around out there. And it's becoming a like a buzz saying, I'm not a fan of the saying because I say that you are already, actually more than enough [00:04:00] people already have inherent value and worth regardless of their behaviors, regardless of what resources they have available, regardless of their mindset.
[00:04:10] And a key tenant of this philosophy is that people are already more than enough. They don't need. To get a certain goal or behavior in order to be valuable or to be worthy of love and respect. By shifting the focus from fixing people's perceived shortcomings to instead nurturing their strengths and their potential, we can really create a more compassionate and empowering approach and help people to achieve their personal development in a better way.
[00:04:45] People actually have a lot more internal resources than they need. They just need help bringing conscious awareness to those resources. When working with a client toward a personal or professional development goal, [00:05:00] it's important to avoid your client wanting to set unrealistic expectations. These expectations can lead to feelings of failure and discouragement.
[00:05:12] This can ultimately be counterproductive when it comes to reaching their goals. It's no more realistic for someone to go out and hit a goal of $50,000 months over the next two months if they're currently at zero than it is for somebody to break the four minute mile when they don't even go out and jog.
[00:05:34] It's important to focus on setting realistic goals that are achievable and meaningful and. Also identifying and utilizing their available resources such as having a supportive family, supportive communities, educational opportunities, and taking advantage of coaching. These things can provide guidance and support when they're [00:06:00] pursuing their goals and put them in a good environment.
[00:06:04] One way to get your client's mindset right is by using N L P techniques. These can really help you reframe their thinking and to get beyond any negative beliefs or limiting beliefs that are holding them back. So there's really nothing to fix. Just help them keep working on themselves with positivity and love, and they're gonna be unstoppable.
[00:06:26] You know what I believe? I believe helping our clients embrace their imperfections is key. It's really important for people who feel that they need to be fixed. To embrace their imperfections As a coach, I've seen how easy it is for people to get caught up in negative self-talk and a constant pursuit of perfection.
[00:06:49] But let me tell you something, perfection is boring. Yes, our quirks and our imperfections, that's what makes us interesting and unique. So as a coach, part of our job is to [00:07:00] help our clients see that and embrace it. We all have our own strengths and our own resources, and that is what we should be focusing on.
[00:07:08] It's not about fixing anything, it's about building on what's already there. It's kind of the perfection in the imperfections, and when we create a safe and supportive environment for growth and learning, amazing things can really start to happen for our clients when we get our clients to ditch the perfectionism and embrace their imperfections.
[00:07:32] They start to realize at the end of the day, that's what makes them awesome. One of the beautiful presuppositions of M N L P that I really love that helps get beyond this idea of needing fixing is accept the person, but change the behavior. We understand that while people don't need fixing, there are some behaviors that are not serving them well, some behaviors that are holding them back in life.
[00:07:58] That's where the magic happens. [00:08:00] Accepting the person for who they are while working together to change behaviors that are holding them back. And we can begin to explore all sorts of internal resources to help shift mindset and behavior, and ultimately reframing how a person views themselves and their situation is what's gonna allow them to start to move forward with a constructive mindset.
[00:08:26] You know what I absolutely love is the presupposition that everybody is doing the best they can with the resources that they have available in that moment. It's such a wonderful mindset to have in life and in coaching, it encourages us to be more understanding and empathetic toward other people. It helps us to realize that we're all working with our own unique set of circumstances and our own limitations.
[00:08:54] But also this is important for our clients to embrace this belief and adopt [00:09:00] this for themselves because this allows them to be forgiving of themselves. And of course, they do need to be at cause and responsible for where they are in life now. But when they can truly realize the decisions they made were based on doing their best with the resources that they had at that moment, they can let go of the past.
[00:09:22] They can forgive themselves and they can start to tap into more empowering internal resources. This makes it much more impactful when we help them break through their limiting beliefs, and it makes it more impactful as they begin to unlock their full potential. They really start to realize that he didn't need anyone to fix them after all.
[00:09:48] So wrapping up. We need to help people challenge the idea that they need to be fixed or that they need to be normal. We need to help them embrace their diversity and individuality [00:10:00] instead of trying to fit into some narrow mold. By acknowledging their uniqueness and their individuality, they can create a model of the world that's more self-accepting.
[00:10:12] It's more self-compassionate and more understanding. It's time to help our clients move past this idea that there is something wrong with them or that they're broken, and to help them realize that they made choices that were the best they could with the resources that they had available. They don't need fixing because they're not broken.
[00:10:33] They're already perfect just the way they are. They just have some behaviors that caused some results they didn't want. So they just need to accept themselves and change their behaviors. Thank you for joining me on this episode. If you haven't already, please hit the subscribe button and also share this with somebody else that you think could really benefit from this podcast.
[00:10:54] We will see you on the next episode.